I’ve been thinking a lot about How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Okay, this story doesn’t make any fucking sense.  I’m not talking about how like, the Grinch alternatively stole Christmas, I understand that, it is a kid’s book and all.  Okay, what I’m talking about here is- okay so Whoville is populated by Whos, who have a different physiology and culture from humans entirely.  This is further proven when we look at Horton Hears a Who, which takes place in the greater Seuss universe.  In Horton Hears a Who we learn that Whoville exists on a speck on a flower, further proving that Whos are not humans.

And yet, they celebrate Christmas; the story of Christ’s birth and resurrection.

Okay, stay with me here, this must mean that the Whos have their own version of Christ, a Who-Christ, who was a betrayed by Whodas, was a practicing Who-Jew, and was crucified by some sort of Who analogue to Romans.

But it goes deeper than that, this must also mean that the Whos have their own version of the bible, probably written in seussian rhyme, with lines like

“We’ll show this false prophet, we’ll beat him with ease!
We’ll beat him with use of our crucifixion machines!”


“With nails in his hands and one in his feet,
We’ll show this Christ that Romans will never be beat!”


Anyway.. How the Grinch Stole Christmas doesn’t make any goddamn sense.